Oh my aching MOUTH!

So I went to dental on Tuesday and long story short, I had to get my only wisdom tooth pulled Wednesday morning. My mouth hurts.
Anyway. While hanging out with William this week...he was STILL texting that girl. Its completely obvious that I know but he just doesn't care. I mean, now that I've been sitting here reflecting..I can't figure out if it's me that's acting weird now or him. It's almost uncanny how much my horoscope and everything around me seems to be telling me to get out while I'm still alive, but you know what. I'm gonna wait until he slips up. If he even does. I mean..she's not even on his facebook, which according to Alex, means that she probably doesn't mean shit to him. Maybe it's just innocent flirting..idk. I just gotta learn to let it go. Yesterday he brought be soup and gauze..which was nice..but I got a half ass hug..he said he was just tired and in a bad mood..I asked him to hang out today and his excuse was "well your on SIQ." That shouldn't matter..but..he has been sleeping a lot lately. His roommate can verify that. Oh, in addition to texting that girl, he's saying its his friend Josh. It used to be "Oh it's Saidd," until me and Saidd became friends. Now he has to use someone I don't talk to as a cover, or maybe it really is Josh. That I don't know. BUT I'm going to try to befriend Josh and maybe he'll pull something else. What it all comes down to though is that, I need to work on myself and my trust issues, (as always.) and I'm getting mine. OH YEAH! That's another thing. He's been less interested in sex. Its most likely cause we're always fucking like animals and it makes it more exciting the less we do it..

I think I may have had an epiphany just now. I think he's flirting with that other girl because I'm smothering him. I've always been told I'm not clingy, but I do admit that I like to cling to something that I like..and I really like Will. He said "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you push the things you like away because you smother them?" Which is true. Very very true, and I hate to admit it but it's the truth. If I give him space, like I have been I can salvage our relationship, but I could also be giving him more room to cheat. If he's gonna cheat, he's gonna cheat. There's straight up nothing I can do about that.

I can't remember who I was a month ago..maybe because I've been stressed out about things I shouldn't be..but if I can't figure this out before I EAS idk what I'm going to do. I would like to think that if I'm with Will by the time I EAS I'll stay out here in Cali. If not, my brother offered me a place to go and a job in Florida. I LOVE california, but it's just too damn expensive, especially if I'm going to be a full time student using the BAH I'll get.

My limited duty ended on the 14th. My civilian doctor extended it, but I have no idea if the Marine Corps will accept it..so I have to call Balboa in San Diego, most likely drive down there and see what I can do. This is annoying and I guarantee I'm going to get shit for it from the unit. I just can not wait to have a job where my physical abilities and traits won't matter.