BPD, Love, and Work.

Last night I felt like I was really being taken advantage of and taken for granted. So I asked all my "friends" if they felt like they take me for granted. I asked my boyfriend also. Well...William decides that this pisses him off that I would even ask that. All I wanted was for the person who is supposed to make me feel loved and important and all that gushy stuff, to tell me that I'm a good person and that he doesnt take me for granted and doesn't take advantage of me and all that. I never got that response back and he's upset that I had to ask. The last two days were seriously horrible. I've never wanted to curl up in my blanket and sleep all day more in my life. Maybe it's the vicious cycle of boarderline personality disorder..idk. (How does someone keep a relationship when they have a personality disorder?) The point is...Why is it so hard to just reiterate something for your significant other, so that they feel better about themselves? Isn't that a part of your responsiblities as that persons significant other? To make them happy and to support them no matter what? I know that I supported Will with all of his issues, and I still do when he needs/wants me around. The funny thing is, he says I've changed and I haven't. He's the one that's changing.


Anyway..back to my day. Why is it that people always wanna bring stuff up in front of everyone else, but they won't get in your face when no one is around? I've never understood that. Especially since most of the time you don't need to get in someones face and come in screaming about something. When has yelling ever solved anything? I love when people do that and they're in the wrong. That's the best part because they don't realize how dumb they are. Specifically when they do it in front of a crowd and you look at them like....seriously...your dumb as fuck and everyone in this room just witnessed it. Bottom line: DON'T TALK SHIT YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHIN ABOUT, CAN'T BACK UP, OR DON'T RATE TO ARGUE.










EDIT: It's almost the end of the day..and talking to Will is almost like talking to a brick wall. He's using 1 or 2 word answers when possible, not texting me back at all, and just being really weird. He's spending the weekend in Ontario with his parents again, and tonight he's chillin and going to Walmart. I'm betting I won't see him until next week..so I said that and he said "I never said that" Everything in my body is telling me that he's cheating or that he's about to break up with me..but since I've been cheated on and hurt badly before, my instincts are tainted. I can either ask him straight up and then try to determine if that's a lie or the truth, I can break up with him before he does it to me, or I can wait. I'm most likely going to wait to see what happens. I hate the waiting game.