Why it's so hard to consider "friends" friends.

Well, since I can't trust my friends with anything because they're all big mouthed; I need to get things off my chest. Hence, the reason for this blog. I'll probably be posting daily, if not more than once a day. I guess we'll start off with a little information about me. First of all, I'm 21 and in the Marine Corps, hating every minute of it. I just had a hip surgery at the end of June. My boyfriends name is Will. We've been dating for like barely 2 months. I thought everything was good but apparently I'm clingy. Anyone will tell you that I am far from clingy. I just really want a relationship to work for me for once. Before I started dating Will, I was single for about 6 months, I just got back from Okinawa and my then boyfriend, Cameron, decided we couldn't date because he wanted to date a girl that he was flirting with while we were together. Anyway, from that relationship and a couple relationships before that, my trust issues are almost out of control..but I'm usually never wrong when I get one of those "feelings." You girls know what I'm talking about. So far, we've established that I'm stubborn, jealous, and un-trusting. (Is that even a word?)

Back to the point of this first blog. Why it's so hard to consider "friends" friends. I think it's so hard to see my friends as being true friends because half the time, people don't care about you; They listen to you so that you'll listen to them when they have a problem. On top of that, most of the time you go to them with a problem they either barely let you talk, and then talk about themselves, or they want to solve everything with food or alcohol. Not to mention the fact that girls are catty; you can't trust most girls with anything. And guys don't care, even if they do they're probably gay and everyone knows that gay relationship world and straight relationship world are completely different. I have a few guy friends, that actually seem to act like they care, and they throw advice out there. They definitely aren't gay, BUT they also want in my pants. I have to take all of their advice with a grain of salt and have to keep the fact they're all DTF in the back of my mind. So what does that mean? Who do I go to when I can't trust my friends? My family? Yeah okay, because all of their relationships and all of their problems are stable. My mothers been married and divorced 4 times, love failed. My father married and divorced 2 times, love failed again. I'm the only actual adult in my entire family, so I guess it's just all me and if I fuck up..I fuck up.